Ferns & Expectations

"It is a great loss if we greet every day with clenched hands stuffed with our own devices. We will never know what is out there waiting for us if we don't extend an empty hand to the world and wait for the wonder to happen." ~Radical Hospitality


Well, in three days I will attempt to un-clench my hands and attempt to lose control.

Control has always been a struggle for me. I wasn't always aware of it, but, non the less, it effected my life.

I very often feel like a fern after it's just broken through the ground.

It's all curled into it's self hanging on tight to break through the the ground trying to hold it down, but it continues to push and reach and strive to see the sunshine, feel the sunshine.

Until it finally breaks through

slowly unfurls

spreads it's leaves

bends back incomplete surrender with the sun shining warm on it.

Well, I'm not going to warm sunshine. I'm going to rainy Ireland, Scotland and England.

Three years ago I was trying to decide what I wanted to do to celebrate turning forty.

(I really do believe it's something worth celebrating, but I'll leave that for another post.)

The idea came to me that maybe I should take a trip to Ireland, Scotland and England with my sisters. They have always wanted to go and this may be the catalyst to get them there. Two of them said yes and we asked my aunt to go in my mom's place.

We'll be gone for 15 days. We're not going on a tour. We're making our own.

The fern in me wants to curl

wants to curl into a self protective pinwheel

but I resist. 

I will daily un-clench my hands

bend back

feel the warmth of the sun (Lord willing, I will be in Ireland after all)

focus on the Son

and surrender.

Lets see how this goes!